Reality Bites

Whilst watching the a "reality"programme last night I was struck by how compulsively entertaining real family life is. I took a step back and thought what a day in the life of my family might look like to an outsider and would it be entertaining or not.

Day started as per normal no one can seem to get out of bed any earlier than the latest possible time needed to get where they need to go. What ensues then is five people trying to use the bathroom, eat breakfast, find clean clothes, pack lunches find PE kits and numerous other tasks to boring to write about them all, at the same time. Its only 8.00 and already everyone is niggling with each other, why is she still in the bathroom? who moved those shoes that I deliberately left in the middle of the floor as a tripping hazard so I wouldn't forget them? why are there no Shreddies? has anyone cleaned my football boots? what!!

Finally the house empties and I set off to deliver some adverts for my magazine pick up some proofs and artwork and call at the shops. On returning home cannot get the car in the drive as my mum has called and is chatting over the fence to the next door neighbour. No problem, say I'll just make a cup of coffee and move my car first so she can back out later. Reverse out and then watch her reverse out after me and like watching some horror unfolding in slow motion watch as she proceeds to reverse into a parked Highways van. Its strange shouting stop and knowing that its inevitable that its going to happen. One consolation is that even though scatty my mother is, she is the slowest driver in the whole of North Yorkshire and the back panel neatly folded in but when I leaned on it, it neatly popped out. There's a couple of marks that were getting her agitated but far less damage than there is on my car as I routinely park in scratchy bushes and cut corners near hedges so there are a myriad of tiny scrapes all over the side. Just makes the car look more used!!

Later in the evening all the family were getting bathed, so we could sit down and watch abit of reality TV. The oldest seemed to be taking forever, I know hes a teenager now, but hes a boy so hes not at the stage of spending forever in the bathroom. Went to check he hadn't drowned and found him bailing the bath out with a bucket into the sink. He explained that he had pushed the plug in so hard that it was now jammed in the hole and that when he had tried to force it out the chain had snapped. It must have taken us half an hour to bail the bath out and then I had to get pliers and unjam the plug. An hour and a half later I had repaired the plug mended the chain and managed to sit down.

That's not really an extraordinary day just a mundane day. Just goes to prove that reality is better than fiction any day of the week in my book.